Good Luck!

When I asked for the ooc meeting I knew that majority of what would be heard would be ooc officer drama, and not in my favor. But I felt everyone needed to be heard, to me as a leader that is the most important aspect of running a healthy guild though I would have preferred we concentrate on guild issues and not ooc drama as I am sure many have suggestions for the Cartel that go past just Ray's roleplay.

This letter will not be about the actual problems within the guild structure or about the roleplay as it came as a surprise to me that more than just Nadaj felt this way about Ray’s roleplay back into power. I truly wish more than just Nadaj had come to me with it, when he did I had barely started rping Ray back. I am fine with having all the roleplay I did redacted with an apology to all those who were involved and start as a new blood again. If Ruthgar and my  rp must be dictated by the guild to make everyone comfortable that is fine with me. I assume this was a vote in favor of absences and leaving the guild begetting demotions, no matter the cause or who the player is.

I would like to address all of the ooc drama that has been laid at my feet.

When I came back to game the first thing I did was ask Lythil how I could assist her after my absence. I was truly excited about her and I roleplaying at the top together, as well as managing things oocly together. When Search decided to leave, both him and Lythil were icly listed in the officer notes as “Right Hand” and “Left Hand”. The mechanical rank of “underboss” was left empty by me after I promoted Ruthgar to Leader with me long ago, Ruthgars ic officer notes indicating that he was Underboss. This mechanical rank name was never changed, my bad. Because Search was no longer there I changed Lythil’s ic officer note to reflect the mechanical position “Underboss” within the roster, something I should have contacted her about beforehand, I do apologize that I did not, but I knew the ranks were in a severe need of a fix and that was a start.

When I started roleplaying Ray’s storyline I heard of her feelings on ray coming back and contacted her privately. I asked what I could do to make things right for her; I was offered no resolution’s, so I asked if she would like to be promoted to leader of the guild with Ruthgar and I. When she refused, I attempted to talk her into it, explaining three heads are better than two and was sincere in my wish for her to join us because her and I had always seen eye to eye on many things and were friends, to my knowledge, before I had to take my break. She explained she did not want the position and was fine being just an officer.

Considering I did not yet have a clear idea of what it was I was doing that upset her, I tread softly oocly and Icly. After some time had passed I began to roleplay Ray’s storyline again,  to get it moving. Again I heard of her displeasure and contacted her. Asking what I could do to make things right. When she offered nothing I asked what it was I was doing to make her feel like this so I could correct my errors and was offered nothing again, she stopped responding to me and had to guess. 

I attempted to speak to her about what she would like to see happen with the officer positions in Ray’s rise back up. I had already offered her full leadership and was turned down on that solution so I asked how she would like to handle this. Again I was offered nothing so I suggested that Ray and her be equals icly. To make this easier and more clear within the ranks I attempted to come up with different titles, encouraging her to come up with something that suited her. The titles would be more specific to our character’s roles for the Boss and the guild. I thought we had decided to return to right and left hand for less confusion but in the end  left that private conversation without any solid resolution, because again I was offered nothing in how to make things right. She would just stop speaking.

So I treaded softly ooc and IC, I stopped Ray’s rp storyline for a while etc etc. This was a cycle lasting months and all our conversations on the matter were discussed privately because no matter how much she said she did not want the leadership role I still considered her one and, for guild health, I feel leaders should discuss ooc problems in private.

 I was at a loss as to how to right things. When I would speak in our private officer chat on what was going on in the guild and to make suggestions and open discussions my words were taken with a connotation of malice and I was never able to finish my thoughts on any of the matters due to being called names and being yelled at.

Valindrya very kindly offered to mediate for Lythil and I as we discussed her feelings. Personally, I am an adult and feel I do not need a mediator so Lythil and chatted and then voiced. Our voice session ended with her explaining that she needed for Ray’s return to be announced by  Ruthgar. I spoke to Ruthgar about it and we started roleplaying Ray’s ascension again and finally Ruthgar and Ray came to an agreement. Time was running short and summer was soon upon us, which means a lot less Ruthgar to run the guild.

During these months I set up ooc leader meetings for once a week and an IC guild meeting for once a week due to miscommunications, as I set them up long before my absence when we started having communication problems between the officers. This time, we had a few meetings, but due to absences by officers for real life, they ceased. I did not attempt to push them, again, I was trying to tread softly, so I take full responsibility for that.

As to the specifics; I have no idea when it was Lythil was demoted, I have no idea about the event editing permissions being taken away from her, I have read the report mairah made on Ray but know nothing of demotions or promotions connected to it. I was asked for an ooc contact for V’Mier roleplay, I told our alliance Mutinay is the one that should be contacted about it since she is the one creating and leading the rp for it. I have stopped a few people from being oocly kicked from the guild because I felt the cause was unjust, that did upset some of the officers.

Perhaps I was too heavy handed with scheduling a meeting each week, which is why the meetings dwindled and fell apart. I am not sure what else to say on the matter… other than I wish everyone that was not involved in Ray’s return would have come to me or Ruthgar with their concerns on the matter instead of taking it to the public channel. Ooc drama in a channel that is meant for fun and communication has always been a huge pet peeve of mine.

I apologize to all those who were left in the dark about the officer drama, I know peoples anger over a simple matter shocked many, but It has always been my contention that ooc officer drama should stay between the officers, because once it is spread through the guild and/or outside the guild it is severely detrimental to the guild as a whole. It causes guild members to choose ooc sides and alliances to cringe away from rping with us.

I cannot be a part of running a guild when such a detrimental action is not corrected, is given credence and finally, rewarded. Knowing it is acceptable in this guild means it will continue and will simply be too much highschool type drama for me and ruin my fun, as it has been since a week after I returned to game.

I came back because I missed roleplaying and chatting with you all and felt that the emotions I had from a sickness and death in my family were finally manageable again. But I cannot continue to be berated over ooc drama that I cannot seem to fix, no matter how hard I try. The drama has caused me severe anxiety, to the point where I stopped eating and had to be medicated. EQ2 is unhealthy for me, I love you all, even those who now seem to hate me.

Thank you for sticking by me during the months I was ic and ooc switched from Underboss to Boss time and time again when Rukoz took his leave of absences to play other characters and sticking by me again when he took his longest leave and then demanded the guild back. It was truly stressful for me and I wanted to do the right thing, even for Rukoz. I have always been sorry I could not rectify it for him due to the loyalty and friendship that incurs when leading a guild with someone.

I truly appreciate being a part of the growth we had when I was acting boss and love all of you for all the hard work you put into the guild. I hope the Cartel continues on and returns to the evil mafia guild it once was to everyone’s enjoyment.

And my greatest hope is that you will all start rping again together, between the cliques and divisions. Roleplay set up to involve as many as possible, and especially those who do not normally roleplay together, was my main drive in returning Ray before Ruthgar started summer work. I hope those who have felt left out, pushed aside and ignored during this time when I was not an IC leader can let the ooc go and have fun together.

P.S. I will speak to the person whom I was assisting in the Silverburg RP and tidy up the contacts, I am sure he can find someone else to play his second. And I do hope those that were chosen by their division leaders for it at Ray’s request will continue with it and roleplay between one another to bring more into the fold, it will be a great server wide, tabletop style rp filled with intrigue!

Focus on the roleplay!

Love, E.

Please don't tell me your leaving?  ... I came back because I thought things had changed ... hmmm

Ray I was looking forward to Piorrot and Anaysa having some RP time together ... it would have been a wild combination give the links to Search. 

/hugs!